Silence
by satscout
Summary: Hyourinmaru has a mind - and heart - of his own. And it's time Hitsugaya caught up... before a certain dragon causes too much trouble. HitsugayaXOC.
1. Chapter 1

Humbly submitted for review. I don't own Bleach (more's the pity) but the non-Bleach ones are mine...

* * *

"I really think you ought to see this, taichou."

Matsumoto Rangiki was uncharacteristically subdued. Her tone of voice caught the attention of Hitsugaya Toshiro, buried as usual in mounds of paperwork. He looked up.

"And a new arrival from Rukongai is important enough to -"

"Taichou."

They were interrupted by a 4th Division underling, bowing as he entered. "We have a name, at least. She says her name is Sharon."

"Sharon? What kind of a name is that? And what business of mine is it?"

Exchanged glances with Matsumoto told Hitsugaya this was no ordinary situation. "All right, I'll come. Explain on the way."

* * *

It was unusually quiet, even for the 4th Division. Sure, they liked it quiet for recuperating shinigami to get rest. But this was different. It was as if the sound were... muffled, or something. Even normal sounds - walking in the halls, shuffled papers, the opening of a door - weren't what they should have been.

Matsumoto stopped them with a whisper. "We won't be able to talk beyond this point, so I'd better wrap up the explanation here," she said softly. "Once they figured out it wasn't laryngitis, deafness, or mass hysteria, it wasn't hard to pinpoint the source. Every sound within a certain radius of her just disappears. I could shout at the top of my lungs and there would be no sound to transmit. Even now, I'm trying to raise my voice, but I bet you can't hear above a whisper."

Hitsugaya shook his head in response. "I can barely hear you now. And the effect is worse the closer you get to her? How did they find out her name?

She shrugged. "They said it's not consistent; at its worst, there was no sound in the entire 4th Division complex. When it backed off, they could talk within a few feet of her, but when she said her name, it clamped down again. She must be calming down for us to be able to talk this close to her. What bothers them most, however, is the colors and the cold."

"And not everyone can see the colors, right?"

A frown creased Matsumoto's face. "That's what is so confusing. The few who can really 'see' the colors say that when it goes gray, it gets cold like ice. You're the resident expert on ice. If she really has something with her as strong as Hyourinmaru, you're the most likely to help her get it under control. And she'd better get it under control fast. Already the part of Rukongai where she was found is in an uproar, and even isolated, she's causing trouble in Seireitei. I wonder what could have possibly happened that she finds her only defense in silence."

Hitsugaya closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "Let's see what we can do."

* * *

_Indigo. A pulsing indigo, like a velvet night sky._

_Laced with cracks, black and red - pain and terror; grief, anger, and hate._

_Then - pinpoints of brightest white - and grey ash, covering the cracks -_

Matsumoto shivered, halted in her tracks. Everyone had felt the blast of cold that came with the grey. Hitsugaya blinked, startled, his eyes growing wide. He _knew_ that sensation. No. That _emotion_. It was the same emotion that drove him after Momo-chan to the shinigami. It was the same emotion that made him leave Obaa-chan when he saw what he was doing to her.

She didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

But she was doing it the wrong way. Instead of healing the hurt places, she was trying to eliminate them, and herself with them. And in the process, she was releasing - what? Something that called out to her just as Hyourinmaru had called out to him, when he felt the death on that icy plain. And it didn't want to let her go, any more than Hyourinmaru had wanted to let him go.

It was _not_ happy. And it wasn't afraid to let everyone and everything around it know that.

* * *

For the moment, speech had returned.

Unohana Retsu had finally managed to sedate the woman. The 4th Division had regained peace, for the time being. And Hitsugaya had a mystery to solve.

"What can you tell me about her? Where did she come from? Do you have any information about her time before she came to Soul Society? Who did her soul burial? Anything would help."

Unohana flipped through a chart. "We really don't have much. She just appeared in District 1, as confused as any new soul could be. Physical appearance: Red hair, brown eyes, glasses, pale skin, freckles. She seems to have come from the American part of the living world. We aren't sure who was covering that area, so no information on the soul burial. There seems to have been a bit of confusion over which unit would have to do duty and something about a poker game – the winners got sake and the losers got America duty. In any event, when she arrived, she panicked, and most of District 1 lost sound for half an hour. She must have been close to the wall, because we were getting the effect in Seireitei. There were a number of instances of shinigami reporting being unable to speak or hear that resolved mysteriously after leaving the affected area. All were checked out here and medically cleared. Once it was determined the cause was in Rukongai, she was found fairly immediately. Attempts to communicate have been limited at best – you saw what happened when she got scared again – and the point where we got her name, she had been left alone for a while and then panicked when she saw shinigami. The rest, you know."

Hitsugaya knit his eyebrows in frustration. What sent her here, and what was she running from? Why would she react to such extremes? And what on earth was that… that _thing_… that felt so much like Hyourinmaru and at the same time so very different?

"Thank you anyway, Unohana," he replied. He had a few things to research. Like zanpakuto, and how other shinigami had found theirs. He rubbed his arms as if he were trying to get warm. If his theory was correct, he had to find a way to reach her before that spirit took control. The question was, how?

* * *

Back in the offices of the 10th Division, Hitsugaya was clearing his desk in preparation for taking a few days to solve the problem. Two Hell Butterflies came, both from the 12th Division but with very different messages. The first was from Kurotsuchi Mayuri – he wanted to know what it would take to get the new arrival as a research specimen. Before Hitsugaya could tell him where to put that idea, the other message startled him. It seems this… woman… hadn't had a soul burial. Could not in fact have a soul burial. Because she was still alive.

"She is still in the living world? But how…"

A whisper, in the back of his mind. Hyourinmaru.

_I heard her calling._

_My Dragon of Earth._

_Hell to my Heaven,_

_Yin to my Yang,_

_Sorrow to my Joy,_

_Heat to my Ice,_

_Darkness to my Light,_

_Shadow to my Sun,_

_Silence to my Song._

_Where is she?_

_Where has she gone?_

Stunned did not begin to describe how he felt. The implications for Soul Society – and for himself – were staggering to say the least. Hyourinmaru was not implying a rival. He was implying an equal.

A mate.

In that still-living woman dwelt a dragon Hyourinmaru's equal.

And she wanted to die.

He left a message for Matsumoto and left for the living world.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

_I don't see what they think is so bad about America_, Hitsugaya thought to himself. _So it's strange. That doesn't make it bad_. 12th could be really good at times. They had the woman located down to the street address. She was living, it appeared, with a husband and son in an apartment complex. A day of discreet watching – no gigai, as he didn't want to alert her to his presence – and he learned that the best time to catch her alone was after her son got on the bus for school in the morning.

He looked her over with a critical eye. The basics he had from Unohana were there – pale skin, red hair, glasses, freckles – but he hadn't expected her to be quite so… overweight. And if nobody was around, it must not matter to her what she looked like. Her hair was sort of up off of her neck, but the way it stuck out at the moment reminded him an awful lot of Abarai Renji.

He watched her take some medicine, then sit to read the paper. Well, he heard her sit. Her bones made funny crunching sounds when she moved. And the pain – she was radiating pain that even he could sense. Not just physical pain, although there was that, but emotional pain. This was going to be troublesome. If she really had reason to want to die, odds were she wouldn't last long before becoming a Hollow afterward.

Hitsugaya followed her as she walked wearily to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and strapped an odd device to her face, a sort of mask with a tube attached to a machine on the back of the bed. Then she looked up and saw him.

She took the mask off.

She put her glasses on, took them off, rubbed her eyes, and put them on again.

"I see you, whoever you are."

Hitsugaya was truly startled. He slowly turned – and she was looking him straight in the eye.

"I don't know who or what you are, but I have to assume you are a hallucination. The door's locked and there's nobody here but me. Bloody rip. I knew I was tired, didn't know I was this tired. There's nobody here, there's nobody here, there's nobody here…"

She walked into the kitchen. Intrigued, he followed.

She had a glass of Coke in her hand. "You're still here?" She shook her head. "This is what I get for twenty plus years of sleep deprivation." _Twenty years? She's not THAT old..._ "I'm seeing things. Yeah, that's it. Some kid with white hair dressed like he's going to an anime convention shows up and glares at me like I'm a criminal…" _Wait a minute, I didn't THINK I was glaring at her! _"… and I'm twisted enough that all I can think about is wishing I could hug him."

_That_ stopped him short.

"What did you just say?"

"Oh, the apparition speaks. Now I really am losing my mind. Visual and auditory hallucinations brought on by sleep deprivation. Now I can add insanity to my diagnoses. Let's see, arthritis, asthma, allergies, sleep apnea, hypertension, depression, mental instability… Next they'll be sending me to the Psych Institute for study like some blasted specimen."

He winced. That's almost exactly what Kurotsuchi-bastard – ahem, _taichou_ – had in mind.

She laughed bitterly. "Take your pick, figment of my imagination. What would you like me to repeat?"

"The part from before about what you wanted."

A raised eyebrow. "Since when did anyone really honestly care what I want? I want to be freed from my misery. I want to be out of pain. I want somebody to give a damn. And I'm confessing all of this to some picture I've made up out of my head like a crazy woman." Tears were streaming down her face. "You know what I _really_ want? More than anything else in the world? What I'm never going to get, that's what. I want somebody to actually love me. Not say it to sound nice then kill my spirit with torture or criticism. Or say it then walk away and leave me to wallow in the hell they created. I want somebody to love me enough to believe I tell the truth. I want somebody to love me enough to treat me with respect. I want somebody to love me enough to kiss me and hold me tight even though I'm fat and ugly and… and…"

She was shaking with years of repressed grief. Hitsugaya just… looked.

She looked up again. "Yeah, and now my glasses are messed up. Again. And my sinuses get screwed up whenever I cry and I can't breathe. Again. I know better than to cry. Damn it all."

_Hell to my Heaven,_

_Yin to my Yang,_

_Sorrow to my Joy,_

_Heat to my Ice,_

_Darkness to my Light,_

"My Shadow, your Sun,

My Silence, your Song."

She stared at him. Hitsugaya didn't even realize he had spoken the words aloud. Hyourinmaru's words.

"Who exactly are you – no. _What_ exactly are you?"

"I'm not sure you would believe me if I told you anyway."

She closed her eyes in weariness. "Then at least tell me a name. If I'm going to fantasize, I at least ought to have a name for you."

"Toshiro."

She tilted her head. "To-shiro? Like, Japanese, right? Doesn't 'shiro' mean white? I guess that was for your hair then."

It was Hitsugaya's turn to close his eyes. That joke was getting old… but she didn't mean it cruelly like some had.

"Ok, Toshiro. Make you a deal."

Now _his_ eyebrow raised.

"You're a pretty nice fantasy, I have to admit. Not like I'm ever actually going to tell anyone I dreamed of some guy straight out of a manga volume came to talk to me. Nobody – and I mean _nobody_ – knew about those words. I never even wrote them down. Not even on a computer file. And here you come quoting them back to me. Which means you _can't_ be real and have to be from my imagination. So I'm going to ask for a little help from my overactive imagination, ne?"

"I have been called many things, but 'fantasy' was never one of them."

"Irrelevant. 'Fantasy' sounds better than 'apparition' or 'ghost' or even 'invisible friend'. Ouch. Makes me sound like I belong in the loony bin again. Or maybe suffered some brain damage after the other night. It wouldn't surprise me one bit."

Hitsugaya shot her a sharp look. "What do you mean, 'after the other night'?"

She narrowed her gaze. "I mean 'after the other night' when 'someone' _accidentally_ unplugged my CPAP machine. I don't have enough lungpower to pull in air if I'm wearing the CPAP mask without the airflow turned on. I nearly died from suffocation. But I guess I must have _some_ value, because eventually he changed his mind and woke me up before it was 'too late'." She laughed bitterly. "Better had he left me to die. After all these years, he still says most of my illnesses are fake. But I'm the only one who can take care of Andrew. I _am_ his mother after all. And who else would have the patience to learn enough about autistic spectrum disorders in general and Andrew in particular to try to deal with it all? Not to mention doctors, medicine, insurance, school, IEP meetings…" She shrugged, deflated. "Not that it matters. Not that I matter."

That explained a few things. Like how she showed up in Soul Society but was still here. Hitsugaya was going to have to ask someone in 12th about this "near death experience" stuff. Or maybe it wasn't exactly _her_ that came to Soul Society – maybe it was this _presence_ Hyourinmaru was resonating with that caused the trouble… seeking help?

But he wasn't sure. "Is it safe to leave you alone like this? I mean, you aren't going to try to kill yourself if I leave, are you?"

She looked at him blankly, sniffed to try to clear some of the tears, and shuffled back to the bedroom. He followed, not knowing what to think.

That funny pulsing indigo/red/black sensation was back. She sat on the bed and took the mask in her hand.

"No. I'm not brave enough for anything like that. When the hurt gets too bad, I just let myself die a little. Then the dead part gets numb, and I can bear to go on. I don't get to do much of what I want in this life. For example, you look like you need a kiss, right there." She pointed to his cheek. "Oh, lose the deer-in-the-headlights look already. My son won't let me kiss him, so how would you expect me to violate anyone else's personal space? So as much as I would like to, I don't. Or won't. Or can't. I am restrained from it."

All Hitsugaya could do was stand and blink at her. He simply didn't understand a need so great, a personality so totally emo, that she would say something like that to a total stranger. But then again, she still believed he wasn't real. What on earth was he supposed to do about this?

"OK. Toshiro. You want to be of some real use? Something you can do to help?"

"And what might that be?"

"Sunday morning there's this song on the order of service… I can't stand to sing it, especially the last line… I have a really hard time envisioning 'not like a stranger or a guest but like a child at home' and not fervently wishing I were the stranger or the guest because they got better treatment." She sniffed. "Anyway. You want to help me? I dare you, then. I dare you to come Sunday morning when I'm in the choir loft singing. I dare you to find me during that song and hold me close. Pretend to cherish me, just for a verse or two. Pretend to _love_ me. Since pretending is the best I can get, and I'm not always the best pretender. That's why I can't stand that song. I can't pretend strongly enough to get through it without crying and making a scene and I don't want to do that in church."

_She "dares" me? It's as if she's expecting me not to come or something._

"What would prove to you that I'm real?"

She blinked at him. "If you ignore me, or treat me like crap, that's normal life. If you were to actually hug me… well, I would assume I was pretending really, really well for a change. Come visit me in my dreams, why don't you? Maybe when I'm in REM sleep I won't hurt so much."

He just shook his head. "I can't enter human dreams. But I will try to follow you long enough to help with that song."

Another raised eyebrow, this time with a wry twist to her mouth. "Really? Then I'd better get some sleep in order to pretend well enough. Besides, I might get distracted with those… eyes… of yours." Her expression softened. "Hey, at least if I'm going to imagine a guy, he turns out to be really good-looking." Hitsugaya _almost_ blushed at that one. "Must be because I'm so _not_." This self-deprecation was really getting annoying. What could he do to put a stop to her?

She put on the mask and rolled onto her side. Evidently she felt the conversation was over. Hitsugaya was utterly nonplussed. Hyourinmaru simply must have been mistaken. There was no possible way this messed up middle aged woman could play host to a dragon. And on top of it all, she had dared him to pretend to love her – hell, he wasn't sure he even _liked_ her – because of her own emotional crises. What a troublesome mess to be in.

_Time to retreat and think of a plan._ He couldn't solve her problems, but he had to try to neutralize her threat.

* * *

Trust me, folks, this is at least 75 percent less emo than the original version of this chapter. It gets better, I promise.

Hitsugaya: +shuffles maps+

Satscout: Yes?

Hitsugaya: I'm not sure I like _you_ either.

Satscout: +innocently+ Moi?

Hitsugaya: +glares+ troublesome...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

Sunday came.

_Where is that church of hers?!_ Hitsugaya was about to scream in frustration. He had almost sort of not quite made a promise to someone who didn't believe he existed, and he wasn't about to let her down – if, of course, he could find her in the first place.

* * *

He had been searching since sunup, but there were so very many churches here! Even when he tried the old fashioned radius method – damn it all, he had already done five miles and hadn't found a trace of her. And too much farther out on one side just gives the ocean. Where did that woman go?

_If only I had a way to track her. If only I had found a way to track her and could have planted it the other night. If only, if only, if only. I could keep beating myself up or I could just –_

He felt sick.

And his contact phone from Soul Society was ringing.

"Taichou! Do. Something. Now!"

"Unohana?!"

"You heard me, Hitsugaya. The 4th is entirely under sound blackout and everything within a mile of here is frosted. Did you hear me? Frosted. Iced over. _And she's unconscious._ I thought sedation would be enough to dull the effect, but evidently not." He could hear – what, _anger?_ – in Unohana's voice. Anger? Calm, unflappable Unohana, _angry?_ This really was getting out of hand.

"If the 4th is under blackout –"

"I'm at the 12th under, ahem, special invitation from Kurotsuchi. Seems he is more interested than ever in what he terms his 'best research specimen ever' that he politely requested from you, and a bit miffed that you never responded. Better connection from here anyway. Have you found anything, anything at all, that will stop this from happening?"

Just then, he felt it. A blast of ice. From… there!

"Sorry Unohana, catch you later, bye!"

He hung up before hearing her ear-blistering retort. Boy, was she mad. He'd just have to make it up to her (somehow) later. When he got back to Soul Society. _After_ dealing with the woman.

_Not very subtle about this, is she? I can't believe nobody around her notices this._

He found it. A large church at the end of a road, and there in the main building, in a large room, filled with people…

There. Up in a loft. She said she was in the choir. There on the end of the third row.

And her face had that death look again.

This time he heard the music.

And he understood why she was so upset. Here, he was getting images, colors, sensory information that was overwhelming in its complexity, its despair, its irony.

What was supposed to be this… this comfort… this concept of being accepted and loved, "no more a stranger or a guest, but like a child at home." It had been so perverted for so long, she could not bear to hear the words, much less sing them. And they were repeating that last line, over and over.

He couldn't get to her. Not really. The most he could do was reach out to her, try to pull close to her… he couldn't break through… he rested his cheek gently against hers.

No words would come. He just stayed there until all the singing stopped. He could smell the salt. She must have been crying, before.

_Damn it all._

Hitsugaya felt so helpless. This was a grief too large for him to understand. What do you tell someone who has never quite been mishandled "enough"? Abused, for certain, tortured, driven to the edge of sanity time and time again, but always just within the limits of normalcy. Just within the border of what could be reliably reported and proven to an outsider. No help, no recourse, no advocate. They didn't have fundraisers for this, or telethons. There wasn't some big bad problem that you could put a name on that would get her the help she so desparately needed. Just weak labels like "depression" or "chronic pain". Years of long days and longer nights. Of sadistic psychological and emotional abuse, first from her parents and siblings and then from her husband. And nobody to love. Damn it all, indeed. He understood now that even her own son, for some reason he could only get as the label "autistic spectrum", wouldn't let her use the word "love" in his presence. She couldn't even kiss her own son. And she was so conscious of the boundaries, she wouldn't kiss him, even though she desparately desired to do so, _simply because he didn't want her to._

And he had been worried that she had wanted to hug _him_.

He now knew he was in no particular danger of that. Simply because she believed he didn't want it, she wouldn't do it.

She was incapable of rising in her own defense. And her environment was eating her alive.

No wonder the dragon within was not at all pleased.

Once she was safely seated and listening to the preacher, he beat a hasty retreat. He had some apologizing to do…

* * *

Matsumoto really, really wanted to know what had taken her taichou all the way to a place like America. She had only the information that the woman in 4th had practically silenced half of Seireitei and frozen a good bit of her present locale as well. And Unohana! She had never seen her like that. Unohana, mad? No, furious. Unohana, who never lost her temper, for anything, not even when Kurotsuchi made ridiculous suggestions for her patients. _Damn him and his "research specimens" and the trouble he causes!_ But you just don't go interrupting her patient care randomly like that. For that, for her patients, she was angry.

So Matsumoto was going to see for herself.

"So, taichou, I can get the same information you can from 12th if I ask reeeeeeally nicely and slip them a bit of sake, ne?" She chuckled and made her way to the same place Hitsugaya had located a few days before.

This… woman. She looked her over. _Not much to look at, could seriously use a makeover… that hair, though, auburn red kind of color, we could do something with that._ Matsumoto was musing like she did when she was helping one of the lady shinigami with a love life problem. Somehow her fun-loving nature gave them the idea that she knew what it took to attract men. She shrugged to herself. _Not like I'd get a chance to help her with that – she's already married and has a son. Doesn't do to go messing around breaking up couples, even if they aren't exactly suited for one another._ It wasn't hard to see from the condition of the apartment that the reports were true. The cane was no fake. She was in pain, and with nobody around at home, she didn't have to hide it. That the apartment was a mess was an understatement – the living area cluttered with toys and papers, most likely from her son. The bedroom, things piled atop one another, even on what looked to be some kind of small bed next to the large one. And then the woman's room, the "work room", she called it – a glorified storage room with computers in it.

"Another one?"

Matsumoto was visibly startled. Nobody had mentioned that she could see them.

"My imagination is obviously working overtime. First the handsome young man, and now you."

"What do you mean, 'the handsome young man'?"

"From last week. Said his name was Toshiro, or something like that. Dressed in robes like yours. Well, almost. His had some white robe on top of the black ones. White hair, gorgeous blue-green eyes. Looks like you're both out of some manga story. Which means I've been watching entirely too much anime lately."

"You called him Toshiro."

"That _is_ what he said his name was."

"Why not 'Shiro-chan'?"

"Excuse me?"

"I can tell by the way you're mooning and what you said that you like him. So why didn't you call him by a nickname?"

The woman blinked visibly. "Because when I pointed out that I figured the 'shiro' part of his name was Japanese for 'white' and it may have been a reference to his hair, he winced. Kinda clues a body in that he's sensitive to it. So, whatever name he chose to use is the one I will use. Which in this case is Toshiro."

That was obviously not what Matsumoto had expected. Some human woman, causing trouble up and down Soul Society without even a thought for it, was deliberately choosing to show respect to someone she didn't even believe really existed, simply because she thought it would hurt his feelings. She had no clue about his rank and importance. She just respected him as a person.

Definitely not what she had expected to find.

Which meant she had no clue about Soul Society, or her effect on it.

"So, what is your name anyway?"

"Matsumoto Rangiku. Yours?"

"You can call me Sharon. Been a pleasure, but I have to work now. If I get too distracted, the reports won't get done."

"Paperwork?"

"Remote transcription. They talk, I type. The hospital I work for is miles from here, but I get the voices and type the reports from home and have ever since my son was born."

Matsumoto shook her head. "Huh. I understand paperwork. Tons of it where I come from."

The woman chuckled. "It is said that we flow on a sea of paper. I wonder every so often how many trees I've killed for all the reports I generate. They do get printed out on the other end eventually, before signing, after signing, copies, faxed copies to doctor's offices, duplicate, triplicate…"

Matsumoto laughed aloud. "Tell me about it! And just about when I think the paper flow has slowed, my taichou has another pile for me!"

This was met with a grin. "So 'taichou' must be equivalent to 'supervisor' or 'director', 'cause I know _exactly_ what you mean. In spades. If it's not imaging, it's pathology, or stats, or backlog, but it never ever ends. The only reason there's a limit is because corporate doesn't want them paying overtime – it would screw up the productivity stats."

"Try telling that to my taichou."

"Try telling him to recruit some help."

"Feh. Some things can only be handled by the ones at the top of the food chain."

"Sorry to hear it. Makes me glad I'm an underling and not a supervisor. I have enough trouble of my own."

"I think I like you. A shame I can't take you out for a drink. You like sake?"

"Sorry, I don't do alcohol. My body is screwed up enough as it is. My poison of choice is Coca-Cola – Classic original Coke, not that nasty diet or caffiene free stuff. Helps settle my stomach."

"And sake helps settle my head. Oh well."

They traded a smile that was almost warm friendship.

"I'll have to tell him I entirely approve of you."

"Tell who?"

"Taichou, of course. You called him Toshiro."

"You mean he's your boss?"

A raised eyebrow met Matsumoto's smile.

She just sat there shaking her head. "Entirely too much anime lately. I need a vacation."

* * *

Back in Soul Society, Hitsugaya was getting his ears burned by Unohana.

"You said you were going to do something about her. I can't let her leave – she's in no condition to go anywhere but here – but I can't let her stay if she's going to make life difficult for every. Other. Patient. In. My. Care!" Unohana was, for her, shouting, in that way she had without even raising her voice. A shiver went down Hitsugaya's spine. _Remind me to never ever get on her bad side again…_

"I told you, I did do something, I calmed her down, all right? Correlating the time lines shows that the silence and ice receded when I made contact. She's been badly abused and got triggered. That's all. She even warned me – "

"She what?"

This time he _did_ blush. "Well, I was scouting her out and discovered that she could see me. No gigai, just me. And she spoke to me. She thought she was imagining things, and I didn't disabuse her of the notion. And she tried to tell me but I couldn't find her and then when I found the ice I found her and – "

"What do you mean you couldn't find her? Didn't you just say you were talking to her?"

"This church thing. There are so many of them, and I didn't expect her to be at one so far away from her home. It was a good twenty miles and more from where I found her when we spoke, and by the time I got there she was already iced over, on the spiritual plane at least. The best I could do in the midst of the ongoing event was to touch her. That's all. But it must have been enough to break it."

Unohana was deep in thought.

Hitsugaya tried again. "I haven't gone back yet. I don't know what I'll find, and I don't know what to say."

Unohana looked at him with something resembling her usual compassion. "You really care about this woman, don't you."

He couldn't look her in the eyes after that.

"I don't know what to tell you, Toshiro. You are well aware that such a relationship couldn't exist between a living human and a shinigami. And you are also well aware that as a sitting taichou, you can't spend all your time in the living world with her either."

"Yeah, I know," he muttered, more to himself than to her.

"So for now, we find a way to get and keep her calmed down. As in not triggered. At least until we can find out why she manifested here, now, and get things under control on the Soul Society end."

Hitsugaya scowled again, eyes shut tight.

And listened for dragons.

* * *

Chapter 2 isn't so bad after you read Chapter 3, ne? More action, less emo.

Hitsugaya: How many times am I going to get in trouble before this story is over?

Satscout: +starts counting on her fingers+

Hitsugaya: +rolls eyes+

Satscout: ...

Hitsugaya: Please tell me this gets better.

Satscout: Well... sorta. Or at least Matsomoto thinks so.

Hitsugaya: Now I really _am_ in trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4, amended

* * *

_Oshidamaru._

Hitsugaya had been trying to settle down and commune with his zanpakuto. Hyourinmaru just wasn't in a good mood lately. Then this one word came.

_Oshidamaru._

What?

_Oshidamaru._

_Where is she?_

_Oshidamaru._

That other dragon has a name?

_Oshidamaru._

It was almost a keening sound.

Silence. Her name was Silence.

Silence and Ice.

* * *

"I like her. She has problems, but I like her."

Hitsugaya peered out from behind the mound of paper that had reaccumulated on his desk.

"Excuse me?"

"That woman. I like her. And evidently _she_ likes _you._"

A carefully schooled blank look crossed Hitsugaya's features. "Matsumoto, I take that to mean that you took it upon yourself to contact Sharon on your own?"

"Oh? First name basis, are we?"

"Answer the question. Did you or did you not choose to contact her in the middle of an ongoing investigation without prior authorization?"

"Don't get so upset. I just went to find out what you were so very, very interested in – and nobody had bothered to tell me that she could see us without a gigai. So we had a little woman to woman chat. You do realize she has all but fallen in love with you – and the only reason she has permitted that is because she doesn't believe you exist."

Now that really was embarrassing. But it made sense. A host of conflicting emotions passed over Hitsugaya's face. He was slowly falling in love with someone who was already in love with him – who was _only_ in love with him precisely because she didn't believe he was real.

Well, his concentration was shot, that's for sure.

"I'm going for a walk. Don't think this gets you out of your share of the paperwork."

"Aw, taichou…"

* * *

It felt like an earthquake.

But it was utterly, completely silent.

And very, very cold.

_So this is what it feels like to be deaf,_ Hitsugaya thought idly. He didn't even need to ask. It was time to visit the living world again.

For a master of ice to have such difficulty approaching that kind of cold… says something about the nature of _cold_. It was like fighting an intense headwind only he could feel. For the millionth time he wondered, how can these people not notice this?

After midnight local time, he finally broke through. She was on the computer. Of course. Probably just finished working. But what was that she was reading…

"It's called fanfiction. When I'm not reading manga or streaming anime that is. To what do I owe the honor?"

He took a very deep breath, let it out slowly, and said, "Perhaps you could begin by telling me about tonight?"

She blinked a few times. "Tonight? I worked. We had supper. I went to the pharmacy to pick up a script before they closed. Got frustrated because homework took too long. Instead of getting down by 8 for some rest, it was almost 8:30. And then…" Her face lost all expression. "yeah."

"Well?"

"yeah," she said listlessly again. "On most of my seven hour days, I do 1 to 6 then 10 to midnight. Which means I try to get some sleep then wake up by 10 to get back on the system. Depending on how fractured my sleep is, my timing isn't always that great. And then if I'm in the middle of a dream, it can get complicated."

"You dreamed?" His face was a mixture of concern, curiosity, and… something undefinable.

"Well, tonight I did. Must have gotten enough rest to kick into REM sleep. Pretty pathetic, actually. I got fed up with whatever scenario I was stuck in and simply walked away. And in the dreamscape, that can be a complicated thing to do. So I kept walking, and pushing my way through 'walls' when necessary. Hard to explain if you haven't tried it yourself. I've had more than my share of chances to mess with my psyche. Survival's sake, ya know." She didn't seem to want to say more, but Hitsugaya knew she was leaving out something important.

"I really want to know. What happened?"

"When I'm really, really lucky, and pretending particularly well, I can pretend someone gives a rip, even if it's only in the dream. Don't know if you've ever seen any of the old Jerry Lewis movies, not the ones with Dean Martin where he plays the stupid guy against his straight man, but his solo endeavors. Usually he's playing some sweet lovable oaf who gets involved with a girl who doesn't realize she actually loves him until the last fifteen minutes of the movie. And most of the time it's because he's followed her when nobody else would – and cared when nobody else would."

He nodded. Just because he had no idea who Jerry Lewis was didn't mean he couldn't understand what she was saying.

"Well, something somewhere must have been going right, because even though the dreamscape was actively trying to keep me from running away from the predetermined plot du jour, there was a vaguely Jerry Lewis-like character following me. Heh. When I'm in the middle of a dream, I can actually briefly believe someone cares. That's a bit of a stretch for the waking world, though, I'm afraid."

"And then something happened." He said it in a flat monotone.

She couldn't help wondering why a mental creation of her own cared what happened next. "Yeah, something happened all right. When I'm in that sort of not quite light sleep not quite awake borderline where my body knows I have to get up even though my mind hasn't caught up yet – meaning it was close to 10 pm and I _knew_ I had to get up for work even though I strongly preferred to stay in the dream – aw, blast it…"

She paused and took a deep breath.

"Damn it all. It happened again. Ok maybe not as severe as the time he thought it was sooo funny to wake me up with his cell phone ringing at full volume while I was stretching. That one kept me twisted up for a few hours. But it still hurt. He's not stupid; he can tell when I'm not-quite-awake like that. And he deliberately came in and said something that entered the dream in the form of 'it's at least ten after eleven' or something. At least 11:10 was the time that made it through to the conscious-me in the dream. Which of course jolted me out of sleep. Which of course made me spasm. Again not as seriously twisted up as that other time, but it still hurt. And him with that stupid mocking _grin_ on his face. And he could barely contain himself. He said 'oh, I guess it's only about 10 after all' and went to the other room – he was barely out the bedroom door when he was giggling so hard he couldn't stop. Damned deliberate cruelty. Damned hell of a way to break a good dream – for once. Damned hell of a way to start work for the night." Her teeth were gritting. Then her eyes closed in resignation. "He gets so much enjoyment out of my pain. I just can't stand it. And he knows I won't suicide, no matter how much I want to. And he knows I won't run, no matter how much I want to. And he knows I don't believe in divorce, and believe me, right now I'm close to changing my mind on that one. So that leaves me with nothing. And I can't even explain it to anybody that would do any good. SO… I got up and gritted my teeth and went to work. I didn't yell. I didn't scream. I didn't let him have the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I just went to work and felt like living death. But sometimes I can put part of me to the side while I work, especially if I'm trying to see how much I can get done before end of shift. Blasted stats – always too many of them and not enough of me."

Hitsugaya had very carefully blanked his expression during her explanation and closed his eyes. He drew a long, steadying breath. There was really nothing else for it –

"And reading 'fanfiction' helped calm you down, but you couldn't do anything like that until after your work was done."

"Astute of you, Sherlock. Yes, reading calms me down, especially if I can pretend to be someone in the story sort of vicariously who gets to express love to another person. But if I'm on a deadline, I really can't indulge in that sort of thing. Gotta keep up the productivity stats, for one, and if I take out time for it, it trashes my incentive pay. Stuff costs too much nowadays to risk that."

He seemed lost in thought for a moment. Yes, there really wasn't another choice at this point.

"How would you like to come with me for a while?"

"Are you asking me on a date, Toshiro?"

The question and the use of his name made his cheeks burn, but he didn't let that stop him.

"Nothing like that. Just… it seems like this is a very bad place for you right now. I want to find a way to help you somehow."

"And how am I supposed to just up and leave? I can't leave my son alone…"

"Don't worry about it. As far as you know this is all in your imagination, right? So let's go walking for a while, stretch your legs, clear your head, that sort of thing. Just chalk it up to falling asleep in your chair and dreaming."

She got a thoughtful expression on her face. "Okay, I guess I can live with that. As long as I'm not doing anything to risk him. My son is a large part of the reason I put up with this garbage, after all."

He reached out and grasped her hand. She was genuinely surprised; not only could she feel the pressure of his hand in hers, it was… warm. "Obviously dreaming, really well for a change. I can actually feel your hand."

He just sort of half smiled at her, and led her on a waking dream, to the edges of Soul Society.

* * *

She looked really worn out. It hadn't been _that_ far of a walk, as far as Hitsugaya was concerned, but obviously she was not physically capable of it. He found a quiet grove and a place to sit, and let her rest.

"I need to check on something for a few minutes. Will you be all right until I get back? You don't need to move or anything, just rest and I'll come back to get you." Hitsugaya could tell from the distortion in the air there was still something badly wrong. He needed to find out the current situation first hand from Unohana, pronto.

"I guess so," she said, a bit short of breath. "I know better than to walk that far, even with the cane, without resting first. And after. And on the way." She chuckled mirthlessly. "Even my body knows it's time to give up."

"Don't say things like that," Hitsugaya said sharply. "Don't go anywhere, ok? Just wait for me. Please just sit and wait for me. Can you do that?"

"I can sit and wait. It doesn't require motion."

Unconvinced, Hitsugaya left Sharon sitting quietly, at a corner of Soul Society that was isolated but not too terribly far from the 4th Division complex.

As to be expected, Unohana was angry in that oh-so-polite-never-raising-her-voice-but-still-ear-blistering way she had. This time, it was over the news that Hitsugaya had brought the still living counterpart to her patient to Soul Society. "Have you completely lost your mind? What do you think will happen if Part A finds Part B out there? She's obviously had some kind of schism or we wouldn't be in this mess – the two parts are bound to have friction when they meet again, and the recent disruptions are going to seem like some kind of tea party."

Hitsugaya ran his hand through his hair for what felt like the hundredth time that conversation. "I know, I know, I didn't know what else to do. I was afraid given her current state that she would melt down again if I left her alone, and I don't know her part of the living world well enough to take her somewhere safe there. I could only really think of one safe place sort of near here, and it's isolated enough that she shouldn't cause any trouble. Not that she could cause trouble in her current _physical_ state. She was already worn out before we came, and now she can hardly walk. She should be all right until we decide what to do and I can –"

Silence again, "go get her" dying on Hitsugaya's lips. But this time it wasn't just from the focus in 4th and radiating outward. It was resonating. The Silence was resonating with the living woman.

He didn't need hearing to understand Unohana's eyes. _Looks like Part A just found Part B._

He flash stepped his way out.

* * *

The silence almost had weight. It felt… like the air before a thunderstorm… like a courtroom before a judgment… like it was waiting for something.

Hitsugaya found he couldn't flash step closer, or even run. The heaviness of it slowed him to a fast walk. And surprisingly, the closer he got, he could "hear" something faintly. It sounded like a song.

But it wasn't in his ears. It was in his heart.

Thoughts, feelings, entwined in the music...

_I'm singing... so lonely... what would it take? how can anyone see me?_

Damn it. Damn it all.

_I am invisible... such a coward... can't even say how I feel to the one I love... I am invisible..._

You're not to me!

_I wish... if only I could wish... if only I knew how you felt about me... then maybe..._

_maybe... I could be brave... and leave..._

The music was getting louder. He could see her… too far… what was that… glowing?

_but I'm not brave... and I can't leave, not knowing... I want to know you'll be all right..._

_but I'm invisible..._

Pain. Unbearable pain. Grief. Despair. Flooding through him and nearly knocking him from his feet.

_I'm reaching out... it's too dark... I can't break through... the silence... you can't hear me..._

_I am just a shadow... gone with the first rays of light._

Silent lightning. A figure stood before the seated woman. He had a very strong feeling the figure from 4th was gone.

This… woman… looked like she was dressed in one of those uniforms like schoolgirls wore. Only it was strange. Pure white, with indigo collar and skirt, and an obscenely large midnight blue bow on the front, with another on the back. A gold head band coming to a point just above her eyebrows held a glowing jade. Long red hair swept back in a ponytail brushed over her shoulder. A pearl the likes he had never seen was pulsing violet, tied by an indigo ribbon at her throat. And mounted on the front of the bow… an opal, at least the size of his fist or maybe larger, and it was radiating light. She had elbow length gloves in pure white with indigo bands around her upper arms. She was wearing knee high boots, again in deep indigo. When she turned to look at him, he saw… her eyes… not ordinary eyes, but like fields of stars. And in her hand – he had half expected some kind of zanpakuto. But this was – what was it – he found the word from the figure's mind. A "glaive". And this figure apparently had taken this form from the images in her mind from a favorite anime from years ago. But she wasn't going to stay in this form for long, he could tell.

The song was still echoing from her heart. If I was invisible. If I was invisible. As if she wanted nothing better than to be invisible, no trouble for anybody, no bother, and most of all, not available to be hurt when it was convenient. It would feel so good to not feel anymore. To die.

The figure raised the glaive high over her head, arched her back and let out a scream. A silent scream. And then she took her true form. A great indigo dragon, laced with cracks of red and black, shooting up to the sky.

Hitsugaya's back arched as Hyourinmaru released himself and leapt to follow her.

He was shaky, but saw Sharon was in far worse shape. She had collapsed when the indigo dragon took flight. _Of course. Oshidamaru._ Released from the dragon's spell, he ran to her, stumbling. _She would have no possible way of knowing this was going to happen._ Hitsugaya fell as he reached her. He could already tell, Hyourinmaru was in for the battle of his life, keeping Oshidamaru from simply winking out of existence.

He carefully cradled her head in his arms.

She looked up at him, weakly chuckling at the irony of it all. "You know what, Toshiro?" she gasped. He was visibly alarmed. Her lips were going blue and her eyes were glazing over.

"Don't you dare die on me, you hear? Don't you dare!" His voice was choking.

"I'm not that lucky," she wheezed. Her voice was getting weaker. "I really have to tell you. You know, there's two things they say about living sacrifices. One is their unnerving tendency to crawl off the altar."

"Don't mind that now, just stay with me, please? Don't… don't…" More gently than he had ever held anyone in his life, he tried to sit her up.

She coughed a couple of times. "The other… thing… they say… it's a… damn… sight… harder… to live… as a sacrifice… than to die… as one."

"Don't you dare even think about that!" His heart was crushing. He didn't even see the fireworks he could feel from Hyourinmaru. It was almost as if Hyourinmaru were having the same conversation with Oshidamaru.

She closed her eyes, and a few tears slid down her face. "messed up… glasses… sinuses… again… gets… so… hard… to… breathe…"

Tears were coursing freely down Hitsugaya's face. "Don't you dare die on me. Don't you dare." He had his face buried in her hair.

"…so… tired…"

In a blue white explosion of light almost as bright as day, the two dragons had coiled together high in the sky. He knew what it was. He could feel the heat deep within himself. The haze, the recoil from their mating flight. And all he could think to do was to kiss her.

It was at the same time the tenderest and gentlest kiss, but also the most passionate. Worlds of emotion, far beyond capability of verbal expression, were poured into that kiss.

"Don't leave me," he whispered.

And they both lost consciousness, warm under the brilliant velvet of the night sky.

* * *

Modified because on re-re-re-reading the guidelines, I didn't want to take a chance on being in violation.

Hitsugaya: Oh.

Satscout: I told you Matsumoto would be pleased.

Hitsugaya: ... This is embarrassing.

Satscout: Just because some dragons get involved, you lose the line between compassion and affection?

Hitsugaya: But - but - they were - well...

Satscout: The dragons are in love. It's ok to be confused.

Hitsugaya: +blushes again+


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

"I'm not dead, you know."

"You ought to have been, after that. And you ought to be sleeping now."

Hitsugaya was holed up in the 4th Division's most comfortable chamber. Unohana wasn't angry anymore, but she _was_ scolding. In that gentle way of hers, of course.

"The only reason I'm allowing any of this is because of the emergency captain's meeting. They're doing this on my terms or not at all. Do you understand? If your condition destabilizes, the meeting is over, regardless."

He wanted to roll his eyes. Instead he just murmured a quiet "yes, ma'am" and leaned back against the pillows she had propped up behind him. Some things you just don't argue with Unohana about. Like patient care, for example. Even if he himself was the patient.

"All right then. You may come in."

The captains gathered around Hitsugaya's bed. _Like I really need this. Kyoraku is grinning. Kurotsuchi is calculating. The new guy – Amagai? – is nervous. And Yamamoto-dono looks like he's about to order my execution._

"Let me get straight to the point. She can't stay here."

_Boy, Yamamoto-dono can be blunt sometimes._

"I don't know what you think you were doing bringing her to Soul Society. Bad enough when the ryoka came on their own – upset the whole place, turning captain against captain, causing near disaster. But to invite one and escort her here? What were you _thinking_, Hitsugaya?"

Unohana interrupted. "She can't go back until her condition stabilizes. She wouldn't survive the trip."

Hitsugaya wearily closed his eyes. "Besides, she has to be returned to the same night she left. Not that a little time twist is a problem, but she has a son to take care of and a husband with real problems and – "

"As if her personal problems mattered here, Hitsugaya," Yamamoto growled. "First she shows up unwelcomed and unannounced, generating an uproar we don't need. Then she releases a dragon in Rukongai. Then I find one of my captains laid up at a critical time during our preparations for war. We don't need this. Would you care to explain?"

Hitsugaya looked over the assembled faces. Then he stared down at his hands. "I merely thought if we reunited the split part with the original souled body, there might be a way to suppress the outbursts. I didn't expect what happened next."

Kyoraku's grin was delighted. "You mean you didn't expect a zanpakuto mating flight."

Hitsugaya's face burned red. He stared at the wall. Of course he hadn't expected _that_. Nor his feelings to be so… intense… nor his equal resolve to not indulge them.

"She is a married woman in the living world with a family. I never expected her to stay. I wasn't planning on asking for that. She wouldn't want it anyway. She loves her son too much."

"You saved her life, you know. Had you not shielded her with your reiatsu, she would have probably been blown apart by the backlash." Ukitake looked thoughtful. "I wonder if she in part wanted something like that."

"Don't ever say that in my presence again." The rest were startled by the vehemence in Hitsugaya's voice.

"Calm down already. We can still do some discreet research. She wouldn't even have to come to the lab, just observe for unusual phenomena – "

"_NO_, Kurotsuchi, and if I find you doing _anything_ to her, anything at all, I'll – "

"You will what, Hitsugaya-_taichou?_" The emphasis was all too clear in Kuchiki's response. "You will do what? Interfere in the domain of another captain? Avenge her? What did you have in mind?"

"I have in mind training her."

The assembled captains hadn't expected that. Hitsugaya didn't know it was coming either. It just… came out of his mouth.

"I have in mind finding a way to teach her to control her dragon. It has a name, you know. Oshidamaru. _She_ has a name, just as Hyourinmaru has a name. Even if it took meeting Hyourinmaru for her to learn it. Can you believe, Sharon has known about this… otherness… inside for years, and gave her a form of her own choosing? And because her own strengths and weakness lie in the realm of emotions, it was emotional extreme that gave Oshidamaru the power to seek help – here, in Soul Society, where she found someone who could understand. Another dragon. A complementary dragon."

"You mean, a mate." Komamura understood. "The dragon found her mate in the only place she could."

"She's still a hazard." Soi Fon wasn't quite scowling, but it sure was close. "She is a security risk whether she is here in Soul Society or in the living world. We can't afford to let her run around loose with power like that free for the taking. It would be far too easy for Aizen to decide he wanted a _dragon_ on his side and simply take her or worse, convince her that it would be in her 'best interests' to join him." She almost snorted. "Far too easy if she already has a death wish."

Hitsugaya went white. That particular possibility had _not_ occurred to him. He had at best hoped they would deliver her back and perhaps let him visit her, teach her a little. He hadn't thought about what would happen if Aizen found out where the indigo dragon who had announced herself so thoroughly to all Soul Society was hiding.

"So teach her to fight." Zaraki was blunt as always. "Teach her to defend by attacking. Show her how to grow stronger. Tell her what is at stake."

"She still thinks I'm a figment of her imagination." Hitsugaya let out a long sigh. "If she remembers anything at all about this little side trip to Soul Society, she's likely to think it was a particularly vivid dream." _Even the kiss. I hope I was able to give her that much._

"Um, well, I think that's not such a bad idea," Amagai said. "At least as far as Aizen is concerned. If she doesn't believe he exists, then she won't go to him voluntarily, yes? So we keep her thinking it's all some dream. Hopefully a nice dream that she wants to come back. And in the meanwhile, Hitsugaya-taichou can help her gain some control over her dragon. He does have personal experience with that, after all. We can't let her dragon run free, can we?" He smiled helpfully at Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya shot him a grateful look. "Oshidamaru has a mind of her own, and right now, Sharon is in no state to confront her much less control her. She hasn't the physical, psychological, or emotional resources at her disposal, nor the knowledge even if she had."

"I suspect Oshidamaru has high incentive for returning to Soul Society all on her own if not restrained, however. And that could cause trouble." Kyoraku was only partially successful in blocking a wicked grin.

_Damn him…_ Hitsugaya's face was hot again. "I told you, she is a married woman. As in any, um, well, anything that could happen because of the dragons, well, can't. Won't. Even if she believed, and well, she doesn't, and – "

"You can stop stammering now, Hitsugaya." Yamamoto replied drily. "You have made your point. And your argument. The woman will be returned to the living world as soon as feasible, and it will be your responsibility to see to it that she is trained sufficiently to prevent any further disruption in _either_ world. You have the resources of Soul Society at your disposal, with the single caveat that insofar as much as possible, you preserve her illusion that we don't exist – and that includes _not _bringing her back here. We don't need another fireworks display like the last one."

The thought, unbidden, chased across Hitsugaya's mind as his cheeks burned deeper red. _As long as she doesn't think I'm real, she will still give herself permission to love me. It will be exceedingly difficult to train her while denying what I feel for her. Especially since our dragons have made it clear their feelings are mutual._

"In that case, the meeting is dismissed. Get some rest, Hitsugaya. It looks like you're going to need it."

Yamamoto and the other captains filed out, Kyoraku flashing him another grin, this time undisguisedly wicked, and Amagai sending him a sympathetic half smile. Unohana shooed them all out, again taking control of her patient. "You could be a little less hard on yourself, you know," she said. "It's not as if you invited a dragon to come keep Hyourinmaru company. There is no possible way you could have known what would result when you brought her here."

Hitsugaya still couldn't look her in the face. He stared fixedly at the wall, willing his cheeks to cool down. "I know that. That doesn't help me figure out what to do next, though, does it?" He tried not to let a slight edge of bitterness creep into his voice. Finally, finally, someone to love, as an equal, as a _woman_, not just a childhood friend or comrade. Someone who obviously loved him back. And he was not only bound not to do anything about it, he was obliged to perpetuate the circumstance that had made it possible. And all the while he was supposed to train her, which would mean seeing her again and again. Damn it all. Damn it _all_. This just wasn't fair. Not for either of them, and certainly not for the dragons. She hadn't even been fully conscious during the mating flight – if the dragons took it upon themselves to do something while in the living world, he didn't think he would be able to hide how he felt. And she felt the same way. And they just couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't even sure it would be safe to touch her, because he would be tempted to kiss her again. Damn. It. _All._ Why did this have to happen to him?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

Matsumoto was delighted. When Hitsugaya told her what had happened – well after he had returned Sharon and left, hoping she would really believe she had just fallen asleep in her chair in front of the computer – and what the captains had decided about the situation, she was bursting with ideas. Finally, her taichou had a girlfriend! Okay, maybe they couldn't date… they couldn't kiss… they couldn't even be lovers… well, there had to be _something_ they could do, right?

Hitsugaya sighed, again. This was going to be a very, very long day.

* * *

Sharon, on the other hand, was sore. The kind of sore and stiff that she wasn't sure how much was arthritis and how much was fibromyalgia. "One too many anime" she mumbled to herself. She couldn't quite remember… that must have been some dream. Something about her old roleplay character actually being… a dragon? "Ok, maybe one too many anime plus one too many Pern novels. Except, that wasn't a Pern-type dragon. Wasn't a Companion, so the Valdemar novels aren't the problem." Tch. What was itching at the back of her mind? "Can't blame Mercedes Lackey for this book either. That was one of her Elizabeth novels. Man, I sure could use someone like Denoriel to come stand up for _me_." A quick mental review of her recent reading indulgences wasn't helping. Usually when a dream did something funky like that, she could trace the trappings back to whatever she had been reading or watching lately. "Nope, not Tsubasa, not xxxHolic, not Inuyasha. Hey. Maybe it was that Naruto Shippuden movie. There were purple dragons in that." She had just found the subs of the latest Naruto movie online a few days ago. She nodded to herself. "That must be it. For my Scout to turn into some kind of dragon – ok, so I must have borrowed the images from Naruto. But there were only purple dragons there, not… blue-white ones made of ice… and…" She shook her head sharply again. Blast. She could have sworn there was somebody there, somebody worried, with those incredible eyes. But she just couldn't remember, except that he was very sad/angry/worried and desparate-something mixed together. And something else, itching to be recognized. What was that other thing he was sending? Almost as if… nah, couldn't be. Almost as if he… loved her or something. "Bloody dreams. Can't make a bit of sense of any of it."

* * *

Hitsugaya was staring off in space over the most recent pile of paperwork.

"Here you go, taichou!" Matsumoto swept a clear space in the middle of his desk and put down a tray. "Lunch time!"

He shot her a glance, then actually looked at the tray. _Good. No sake. Maybe this means she's not trying to get me drunk so I won't remember to make her work this afternoon._ He absently began eating his lunch. The problem of what to do with a certain indigo dragon was distracting him from his other duties.

"Taichou?"

"Hmmm?" He wasn't really paying attention to what he was eating, either.

"She's going to be hard to train."

"Hmmm."

"I mean, you can't just give her a bunch of new information, and it's going to be hard to field test any of it. She can't properly manifest her dragon in the living world. I just wonder how much good you're going to be able to do."

"Hmmm." Hitsugaya chewed thoughtfully.

"And really. You need to be thinking about positive reinforcement techniques too."

"Hmmm." He took a sip of his tea.

"Like kissing her when she gets something right."

Hitsugaya choked at that. His sip of tea ended up in the back of his nose, and his eyes were watering. Several coughs later, he regained enough composure to glare at Matsumoto. She wasn't exactly grinning, but she had that unrepentant look on her face that had "matchmaking" all over it.

"What part of 'the woman is married' don't you get?"

"And what part of 'she doesn't even believe you are real' don't _you_ get?" she shot back. "Sooner or later you're going to have to deal with how you feel, and how _she_ feels about you, and how the zanpakuto feel about each other. In the meanwhile, you might as well do what you can with what you know. She's not going to be able to accept or understand any information she doesn't already know because she still believes you're just in her imagination, right? So work with that. When she comes to an understanding on her own, gently encouraged by her 'imaginary friend' – _you_ – then you should do something to let her know she's on the right track. And if you kiss her, well, that would reinforce the believe that it's all in her mind, because she really honestly thinks so lowly of herself, she can't conceive of anyone treating her better than she's always been treated. Especially if it means the person on the other end loves her. It's totally outside of her mindset. She has this crazy idea that love is a one way street: It flows out from her and never comes back. She has such an incredible capacity to love, no wonder she's been hurt so very badly. I'd like to see her get a little of what she deserves."

"Has it not occurred to you, Matsumoto, that what I feel for her is exactly why I should NOT be entertaining the possibility of kissing her?"

"Quite the opposite, taichou. What you feel for her is exactly why you SHOULD be kissing her. Frequently. It would do you both a lot of good, and would probably speed her healing."

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, seeking patience. "The. Woman. Is. Married. End of argument. I refuse to do anything to further complicate her situation."

"Even if it might calm both dragons?"

He was trying very hard not to think Matsumoto might be right. "Even if it might calm her dragon. Hyourinmaru can manage. _I_ can manage. But if I were to entangle her heart… it would make day to day living for her even more unbearable."

"How so? By giving her hope? By giving her something to look forward to? By – "

"By reinforcing a love affair with someone other than her husband. Even if she thinks it is just a fantasy. Because the more she loves someone else, the harder it will be to tolerate the slurs and slights he pours on her daily. And the part of her that needs to stay warm, alive, and responsive will become hard and cold, or at least will become so faster. If she is to have any chance at all of gaining control, she can't let herself be tangled up in loving someone illicitly. It's as if her heart is playing by rules. She can't lose the moral high ground without losing her sanity in the process. Don't you see? That's why she can't allow herself to love unless she doesn't believe it's real. She is dying on the inside, but the only thing that's holding her mind together – and it's not by much – is the belief that she's not breaking her vows as long as she's not in love with a real person."

That hurt to admit, and hurt more to admit out loud. But it wasn't hurting him nearly as much as living that way must have hurt her.

"Besides…" He dropped silent for a moment. He was staring blankly at his lunch again. "I should be trying to find ways for her real-life relationships to heal, not ways to get her to fall in love with me." His voice had dropped and was rough and quiet. "You talk about what she deserves. She deserves to be loved by a real person, in her real life, who can hug her and kiss her in her reality. She deserves to have a son who lets her give him love and gives her love in return. She deserves the very best life has to offer and is stuck dealing with the crappy hand she got instead." His voice was shaking. "She deserves to not have to suffer anymore. To not have to fear every damn day of her life anymore. She deserves to be free of the living hell she's in. That's what she deserves. I can't give her that. But I can try to be her friend."

"Even if it means denying what you both feel for each other. Even if it means accepting the reality of what she has to live with and abetting that reality. Even if it means… I don't know. Even if it means the best you can do is sit with her during the fallout when he torments her again."

It wasn't said as a question. Matsumoto didn't like what Hitsugaya was saying. But she couldn't find a good enough argument against it, either. She continued softly.

"He hurts her, you know. When she thinks of kissing 'in real life' it means trying to kiss _him_. So she runs to her fantasies instead. They don't take so much pleasure in her pain. She wants to encourage her son to hug her – she is the only one her son _will_ hug – but she has to get him to do it in secret because if he does it where her husband can see, he grins and says 'one hug deserves another!' and holds his arms open. And then tries to see just how much he can hurt her while trying to make it look like he is 'loving' her. And then laughs at her pain. Oh, she tries to be sympathetic and understanding, but there's a shell around her heart. She's trying to survive. And it's awfully lonely in that shell all by herself."

Hitsugaya didn't want to hear that. But he couldn't argue with it, any more than Matsumoto could argue with what he'd said. "And that's why the best I can do is be a friend to her. Don't you see? If the shell is all that's keeping her going, what right have I to break it? Even if it's for the sake of love? It would crush her, take away her last defense. I'm not going to deliberately break her when we're trying to get her whole again."

He could tell this argument – and it really was an argument, for all that it was being discussed so calmly – wasn't going to end any time soon. She had good points. Lots and lots of them. But all of Matsumoto's good points just didn't outweigh the fact that she was suggesting that he initiate and perpetuate what amounted to a love affair with a married woman, in the living world. He just couldn't do that. And he couldn't leave her instruction to anyone else, because of the dragons. What a total mess.

Hitsugaya sighed, pushing away the half-eaten lunch.

"I need to be alone for a while. Don't bother looking. And please _do_ bother getting your work done."

"Taichou." This time she wasn't complaining, just looking at him with sad eyes.

Hitsugaya just closed his eyes and walked out.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

* * *

"I've been wishing you would come."

It wasn't a question. Just a quiet statement. _Damn. She's shutting down again, I can just feel it._

"All this hallucinating just isn't healthy, you know?"

"Who said you were hallucinating?"

"I must be. You're not real. You can't be real. For one thing, people just don't wear outfits like that outside of a con. I've never been to a con. As if a con would come here anyway. And even if you were real – blast it. I couldn't show love for you in real life because no matter how old you really are, you look like a teenager. That just screams 'pedophile'. And I'm not going to do the LDS number and pretend you're my son in public so we can be 'married' in private."

"Whoa, whoa, you're going too fast for me. Pedophile? LDS number? Are those codes of some kind?

She stared at him. "And innocent too. Another good reason not to get involved with you."

"I never – I mean, I didn't come here to make love to you."

"Too late. I fell for you already. Now I need to find a way to burn it out."

Hitsugaya was frustrated. How was he going to make her understand? "I just want to be your friend. Is that allowed?"

"Every time I try to be 'friends' with a guy, I fall in love with him. Must be because friends are kind and life isn't. But there it is. If I try to be friends with you, I already know I won't be able to limit it to that.

"I don't want you to go, but I can't deal with the consequences if you stay. Does that make sense?"

This wasn't going the way Hitsugaya wanted. She had to stay open to him coming or she would lose control again. "Tell you what. I'll try to watch out for you and be ready to come if you call. Is that all right? I'm really concerned about you. I don't want to see you that… upset again."

"Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. I remember something about dragons in that dream of mine. A great big purple one, and a bigger blue-white one that looked like it was made of ice. I figured the purple one must have come from the Naruto Shippuden movie, but where the other one came from is anybody's guess. Do you remember anything?"

He blinked several times. _As if I could ever forget that night._ "I know that the ice dragon has a name. He is called Hyourinmaru. And he is my friend too."

"Is he a sentient? Does he talk to you? Or is he more animal?"

"Definitely sentient. We talk to one another, after a fashion. He is quite… loyal."

She sighed deeply. "I sure could use a friend like that. All I have are the constructs within my own mind, and they do me no good in a pinch."

_Time to try to make her understand._ "You do have a friend, just like that. But she doesn't know how to talk, or you don't know how to listen, yet."

She shot him a sharp glance. "You mean the purple dragon."

"Exactly. She said her name was Oshidamaru."

"O-whatta?"

"O-shi-da-ma-ru. You would say, Silence."

She closed her eyes, and her head hung heavily. "Figures. I who have been silenced am to find an ally in Silence. So be it."

He wasn't quite sure what to think of that. Most people would be pleased to know their zanpakuto's name without having to go through a lot to learn it.

Then again, she probably didn't even know what a zanpakuto was. And living people weren't supposed to have zanpakuto, either. Which begs the question of why she has one in the first place…

She gave a mirthless laugh. "Are you sure you're not making that up? When I made up the Scout RPG character all those years ago, one of the things that appealed to me most about Sailor Saturn was the fact that she spent most of the S story arc as a pseudo-villain. Somebody the Outers were trying to avoid. The Sailor Soldier of Silence, she was, and she was supposed to have enough power to destroy a planet. But her alter ego Hotaru was just a lonely girl with some healing abiity and a majorly psychotic father who had done the traditional pact-with-the-devil number and was trying to use her and her latent possesions – 'Mistress 9' was the one he knew about – to bring an intergalactic invasion. Of course by the end Sailor Saturn saved the day by sacrificing herself. There's enough there that I can identify with that it was natural to base an RPG character on her. OK, not Saturn herself, but her loyal ally, Scout – an assistant or helper or follower or maybe lesser successor. Bloody North American eviscerated dub version called them the Sailor Scouts instead of Sailor Soldiers."

It made a little more sense, knowing the history, even though he didn't understand all of what she was talking about. Apparently this fantasizing survival tactic was several years old, and some of her long-standing techniques had either engendered a life of their own or – in his opinion more likely – had attracted something quite compatible to take up residence. Like a certain dragon whose domain was silence. It wasn't really that different from how he had met Hyourinmaru, except in Soul Society it would have been far easier for a dragon to choose a compatible human.

Someone just as lonely and isolated and empty as she had been. He understood that. He understood what it was to have a friend become less close as life's paths diverged. Even though he had eventually joined the shinigami, things were never quite the same with Momo. It was different, and he was different. And some of that emptiness remained. Most of the time, it didn't matter. There was always work to do. The recent upheavals in Soul Society had kept everyone busy, especially the ranking officers. The Aizen matter was still far from settled. But when he let himself slow down enough to feel – that empty space was there, something he couldn't fill even with Hyourinmaru or his ice. He was missing something, or someone, that he hadn't any idea how to remedy.

Until he met her.

"Taichou, we have a problem."

His receiver crackled. Matsumoto had insisted he stay in contact if he was going to try to reach out to her.

"What is it?"

"We have what looks like an Arrancar headed your way. We're coming as fast as we can, but you'll have to deal with it until we get there."

"What?"

"We think it – information is pretty sparse yet and we're not sure of much except –"

A crash reverberated throughout the apartment.

" – it's headed your way – "

"It's here." Hitsugaya raced out to meet the beast. It was perhaps eight feet tall, and resembled some sort of marine animal, maybe a stingray. _Good thing they've already placed a barrier, or this place would be dust._ Straight combat wasn't going to cut it – past battles with the Arrancar had proven that. He was just going to have to hold it off until reinforcements arrived, and there was no way a limit release would be approved before that.

"Bankai!" Great ice wings formed, and Hitsugaya leaped up, trying to take it at a dive. The Arrancar disappeared, and reappeared behind him, swinging its spiked tail. The blow sliced across his back, shattering one wing. Hitsugaya pulled back, breathing heavily, reforming the wing from the abundant humidity. Just because this wasn't one of the more intelligent Arrancar didn't mean it wasn't going to be a tough fight. He swung upward, scraping the carapace. Mid stroke, the tail caught him straight in the face, snapping his head backwards. He did a flip, landing mid-air. Blood was streaming down his face.

"Toshiro!"

_Damn it, not now!_ "Get out of here! Now!" he screamed down at Sharon. The Arrancar noticed her at the same moment and dived straight for her.

Hitsugaya came between them and shouted "Ryuusenka!" The blast from his Dragon Hail Blossom hit the Arrancar square on, but it wasn't enough to stop its momentum. It slammed into Hitsugaya and drove them both into the parking area asphalt. As the Arrancar reared up to take another dive, the call "Growl, Haineko!" sounded through the air. A cloud of ash surrounded the Arrancar and shattered it.

"Taichou!" Matsumoto yelled. She got there moments before Sharon did. Hitsugaya was out cold. Tears were streaming down Sharon's cheeks.

"He jumped in front of… that… that thing… to save me…" she choked.

"Is there anything you can do for him? I have to go get help – "

"No! Don't leave us alone!"

Matsumoto was brought up short. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"We need a chaperone."

"A what? Now isn't the time to be thinking about that sort of thing – "

"I said, we need a chaperone. Who knows what will happen between us if we're left alone."

Matsumoto shook her head. "Then I'm the wrong person to ask. I personally think all kinds of things ought to happen between you two whether you're left alone or not. And I would wholeheartedly approve!" A look of shock crossed Sharon's face. "You can't be serious. If what he said is true – if there really is a dragon inside me – don't you think it will come out, and cause another one of those… those…"

"Arrancar."

"…Arrancar things to come after us again? Isn't that what drew it here in the first place?"

Matsumoto closed her eyes for a minute. "You win. For now. I'll get you your chaperone, then I'm getting help!"

She flash-stepped away while Sharon cradled Hitsugaya's head in her lap. "Now whose turn is it to say 'don't die on me', eh?" she mumbled, tears dripping on his face.

"I'm not dead yet, and it would take more than that to kill me," Hitsugaya growled as he tried to sit up. It didn't work. He slid back down, his head still on her lap. Sharon was stroking his hair, trying to wipe some of the blood off of his face. Her tears wouldn't stop. "Yeah, and I really don't want to see what would." She laughed, choked short. "Don't ever do that again, Toshiro. Ever."

"Don't what? Save you?"

"Damn straight. Don't put yourself at risk like that. I'm not near worth it."

He tried, and failed, to sit up again. "Don't bother. She's gone to get help. Just rest for a minute." Sharon was still trying to get the blood out of his eyes. "As if anything I could do would help…"

"You are helping." A voice from behind them startled her. It was Abarai Renji. "Matsumoto said you needed a babysitter. No, that wasn't the word – she said you needed watching?"

"Chaperone. We need a chaperone." Sharon was laughing again, crying and laughing and couldn't stop.

Head tilted to the side, Renji said, "I can't see why. I say a captain can do whatever he damn well pleases."

"Oh yeah?" Hitsugaya said. He struggled again to sit up, this time succeeding in catching Sharon's head in his hand and pulling it down toward his. There was nothing restrained about the kiss this time. Her tears and his mingled on their faces. A silent scream broke out, and the forms of the dragons began to manifest around them both. Hitsugaya broke the kiss roughly. "Any questions, Abarai?"

Renji's eyes were wide. "So it was you who caused that the other night. Point taken. But don't expect much sympathy. I think she would do you good."

"Shut up," Hitsugaya replied. Sharon held him tight in her arms, rocking him gently back and forth, until Matsumoto returned with help from the 4th.

Renji and Matsumoto exchanged a significant glance over the couple. They nodded. They really had to do something – just not here…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

Back in Soul Society…

"Are you crazy?"

Matsumoto Rangiku was getting used to hearing that.

She didn't care. This was for his own good.

Her beloved taichou and _his_ beloved were going to settle things, once and for all.

Even if they needed just a _little_ help to do it.

"I told you, it's better if I handle her myself, but it's going to take some plotting to get him out of his office and into the right frame of mind for this."

Abarai Renji, Kira Izuru, and Kotetsu Isane had agreed to hear her out. They hadn't agreed to agree with her, after all.

Renji started listing objections on his fingers. "First and foremost, Yamamoto-taichou specifically forbade her coming back to Soul Society, remember? Do you really want to cross him? Just remember the last time Hitsugaya-taichou found your sake stash in his office and take it up a few notches. OK, a few hundred notches." Isane shivered. "Next, how exactly do you plan to keep her a secret? It isn't just like you can announce her coming through the main gate. And what happens if something, well, _happens_?"

"But that's what we _want_ to happen!"

Renji would have been yelling if he weren't trying so hard to keep quiet. "Are you crazy? Remember what happened the _last_ time something 'happened' when she was here? Fireworks display, two dragons lighting up the night sky. How are you going to keep it secret then?"

"How, indeed?"

The group snapped to attention. They hadn't seen or heard Kuchiki-taichou approach.

"Taichou!" Renji stuttered. "How much – "

"Enough," Kuchiki replied. "Enough to guess what you four are planning. It could be seen as direct disobedience, or even treason if presented in the wrong light. And by four lieutenants, too." He was shaking his head. "You haven't heard the most recent mandate, have you? A simple statement: 'You control her, or we seal her.' Hitsugaya-san is not in the best frame of mind right now."

Isane blanched. Izuru bit his lip. Rangiku was the one who spoke up. "It was my idea, taichou. I still think we can somehow get her under control if we just find a way to get them to come to terms with how they feel about each other, and we really can't do that in the living world."

"Indeed you can't. The other thing you haven't heard is this: The first Arrancar was a mistake. A chance find, as it were. The next one won't be. She may not be leaking reiatsu, but the dragon is. And now they know where she is. It is almost guaranteed she will be targeted, especially if anything happens that could draw attention."

Renji growled. "She doesn't stand a chance! She would be destroyed and probably most of her town with her!"

"Precisely. Which is why you are going to need help if you are going to accomplish this."

None of them had expected that. "You're willing to help, taichou?" Rangiku queried.

"What you need here you are unable to do by yourselves. You need more than a simple barrier to whereever you plan on this – liaison – taking place. You need a kekkai capable of holding in the released power of a captain. Or two. And that means a kekkai formed from the released power of at least four captains. Your group can't do that. Besides, you will have your hands full just arranging the details."

"A kekkai? What? And why the power of two captains?" Isane asked.

"Because her dragon is at least Hyourinmaru's equal, and we have to assume would hold equal or greater released power. If your plan succeeds, a great deal of power will be released and will need to be dampened if not hidden. A kekkai is a special type of barrier that temporarily places the contents within another dimension. That should be enough – we hope – to keep them from Yamamoto-san's notice long enough to do what needs done. And hopefully, to keep them from Aizen's notice as well." Kuchiki nodded to himself. "I know just who to ask, too."

Rangiku was delighted. "Thank you, taichou!" she nearly squealed. "Isane-san, I was going to ask you about that little cottage on the back side of the 4th complex…"

"You mean the healer retreat? The small one?"

"You think we could, well, borrow it for a night?"

"I don't know…"

"Don't worry about that," Kuchiki said. "Unohana was one of the captains I had in mind. It will be available."

"We're going to need food – a light supper, something tasteful… Wait. Better. Something from the living world. We'll have to see what she likes. And some beautiful kimonos. And a relaxing bath beforehand. And I simply must think of something to do with her hair…"

A small smile crossed Kuchiki's face. "I'll leave you to your plotting, then," he said as he departed. The four lieutenants crouched together, whispering in excited tones. He never did get Renji to do what he needed. Oh well. This was more important.

* * *

Hitsugaya: +twitches+

Satscout: Yes?

Hitsugaya: I don't like the sound of this.

Satscout: But Rangiku-san is _soooo_ excited!

Hitsugaya: It sounds as if you're planning... a date.

Satscout: I told you Rangiku-san would like this.

Hitsugaya: Are you entirely out of your mind?

Satscout: Don't worry, it will all be over soon.

Hitsugaya: +heaves an exasperated sigh+


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

Chapter 9

* * *

Hitsugaya was not having a good day.

OK, that was an understatement. "You control her, or we seal her." What in hell was he supposed to do now?

Unohana had "suggested" he spend a few days in the healer retreat. He would say "ordered", except she hadn't really threatened him. Just said that everyone would be better off if he sorted through things by himself for a while – and gave his body a chance to heal as well. He took an experimental stretch… he _was_ still sore from that hit he took. Damned Arrancar. Getting driven into asphalt is never fun.

He found the retreat a rather comfortable place. Intended for individuals or small groups to get away from the stress of patient care, it had a few bedrooms, a great room, well stocked kitchen… and a large bath which someone had conveniently filled with steaming water for him. Well. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. He nearly fell asleep soaking.

* * *

"Oh!"

Hitsugaya opened his eyes wide just in time to see Sharon's very, _very_ red face before she swung around, her back to him. Her hair was down – why hadn't he noticed before how much he liked that shade of red? – and she was wearing a loose deep blue kimono with silver butterflies outlined on it.

"I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't know anyone was here, I just woke up and needed to go to the bathroom and – "

Hitsugaya pulled a curtain to separate the bathtub from the rest of the bathroom. "It's not your fault. Obviously nobody told you I was coming. Do what you need to do."

"I'm sorry, I'll hurry – "

"Sharon?"

A pause. "Yeah?"

"Matsumoto, right?"

Another pause. "Rangiku-san brought me. Said we needed some 'girl time'. She had me soak for a while – it really _does_ help with the soreness – and then she was playing with my hair. She finally just let it hang down. I got so sleepy, she said I should just rest while I could before going back… and I just woke up and didn't expect anyone else here but us. I mean Rangiku-san and me. But she obviously left – and you're taking a bath – "

A very long pause. "Um, I really think I should be leaving now…" She flushed and was at the door when the curtain moved a little.

"Sharon." She slowly turned and looked into Hitsugaya's deep blue-green eyes. Her face was turning all kinds of shades of red. "You're supposed to be trained in medicine, right? Why are you so embarrassed? Haven't you seen a human body before?"

She blinked several times before daring to answer. "You really don't understand, do you?" she whispered. "You aren't my patient and you aren't my family. You are… you are… a man I'm trying very very hard not to be more in love with than I already am, and I walk in and see you… like that… and all sorts of barriers are breaking down inside…"

"Barriers!?" Hitsugaya stood up. Damn it.

"What?" Sharon stopped. "There's… something… it kind of sounds like blue and gold and pink and olive and silver and white and…"

He stared at her. "You can sense it?"

"Well, it kind of comes like a song or pretty colors, but there's something there. And it sounds as if it's meant to keep us in here isolated for a while."

Hitsugaya stared off in the distance. "We are inside a barrier, and a very powerful one, set up by four captains. And given how we were both lured here – " _Unohana, I swear I'm not letting you forget this – Matsumoto neither_ – "it seems obvious they intend us to settle things, one way or another. Yes, we're meant to be isolated, but this is also shielding us from detection, which means we don't have a lot of time, especially since you aren't supposed to be here."

"I really think I'd better leave now… please put something on before you come out…"

The door closed quietly behind her. That's when he noticed the kimono that had been left for him, a beatiful emerald green with cranes outlined in gold on it. They had so totally been set up, and he had fallen for it completely. It's as if… they expected… no, they _wanted_... him to seduce her. Damn. There simply had to be another way. And there had to be a lot of people involved to pull this off, all of whom were on his hit list once this was all over…

* * *

"Is this better?" Hitsugaya asked. He was dressed in the kimono and joined Sharon in the great room. "I'm sorry to have upset you so much. That really was a dirty trick they played on you. On us." He couldn't look her straight in the face, not yet. "And they got _captains_ involved. Kuchiki, Unohana, Ukitake, and Kyoraku. They expect –"

"They expect us to sleep together." Sharon wasn't looking at him, either. She was staring down at hands and pulling nervously at her fingers.

"They expect us to do something about the dragons. And since they are obviously… mated… it seemed natural to expect us to… well… follow suit, I guess." Hitsugaya was visibly uncomfortable discussing something like this, much less with someone he had decided he wasn't planning on entering that level of relationship with. The problem was, he wanted to. He ached to hold her close and burn away the memory of all that had been done to her. To cherish her. To love her. To be loved in return.

"So they – this conspiracy of people who care very much about you and your happiness – set us up big time." Sharon let out a nervous laugh. "Trying their best to break us down so we do what we already said we wouldn't, huh." She was looking past Hitsugaya, over his shoulder. "They even left flowers. How enchanting. I bet there's food, too… I'll go look." When she headed for the kitchen, Hitsugaya looked at the flowers, two yellow daffodils, stems crossed, left in a vase on a side table against a wall.

Daffodils. The symbol of the Tenth Division. The symbol of… the seals…

Hitsugaya had an idea.

* * *

Sharon had set out some fruit she found in the refrigerator. Canteloupe, strawberries, watermelon – Matsumoto, again, she knew how much he loved watermelon – and pitchers of water and tea, and a few bottles of –

"Coca-Cola. Gotta hand it to Rangiku-san. She said they were well stocked, and she was right. Thank God for this. Coke does wonders to calm my stomach." Sharon took a bottle and sat it by her plate. "What would you like?"

"Tea, please," Hitsugaya replied. Way to avoid the subject…

"OK. Help yourself to the fruit." She took a slice of canteloupe and started in. He slowly took a slice of watermelon and stared at the seeds before taking a bite. This really was good… Matsumoto must have gone to a lot of trouble to remember this kind of detail…

Sharon was idly picking seeds out of her canteloupe slice. "Did you know that where I come from, people use a lot of words with sweetness in them to talk about the people they love? 'Sweetheart', 'honey', 'sugar', and the like. But I was looking on the Internet for equivalent endearments in Japanese and couldn't find any. All kinds of terms of respect, but not of affection." She watched him take another bite of watermelon. "I found one – 'ane-ue' – that apparently is meant to apply to siblings. It sounds very much like the same root word that my son's name is derived from. Andrew… 'dear one'. A Welsh word that comes from the same place is 'annwyl'." She took a bite of canteloupe and chewed thoughtfully.

"Then again, I fould this term in one anime – 'danna-sama' – that a wife used for her husband. That's not really right either… it means 'master'… it really has all the wrong connotations." Her face flushed, this time only a little. "Did you know that until today, one of the barriers I had in my mind was the fact that you are at least a foot shorter than I am and could pass as a junior high kid? Until a while ago that is. You are unquestionably adult. Blows that one out of the water. Er – sorry – that could be taken a bit too literally."

Hitsugaya couldn't help smiling. She really was trying to put him at ease, even joking about her own discomfiture. Somehow, from her, he didn't even mind the remarks about his height.

"I won't remember any of this later, will I," Sharon said quietly.

"There will be a memory modification done, yes. But don't worry, I'll never forget you."

He picked up a napkin and wiped watermelon juice from his fingers and face. Then he reached over and used another to gently wipe canteloupe juice from her chin. It was as if a spark had leapt between them. They both held perfectly still for a moment. In a low voice, he said "I think I have a way to let Hyourinmaru and Oshidamaru have one more time together before she has to leave. Are you willing to trust me?"

Sharon's eyes were locked on his. She nodded mutely.

Very gently, very slowly, he got up and walked to where he was standing in front of her. His head was just above hers if he was standing and she was seated. He cupped her cheek in his left hand and her eyes closed. Then he tilted her face upward and kissed her.

Hyourinmaru and Oshidamaru broke free. They were rising, higher and higher, against a glorious backdrop of stars.

Tears were coursing down Sharon's face, and Hitsugaya was trying to kiss them away. She held on to him tightly. She whispered "Toshiro, I want to… I want to so bad… but I can't… I just can't…"

"Hush, love. Just trust me a little while longer. I want to… _I_ want to start at the top and work my way down and kiss away every bad memory until there is nothing left but my face, my lips, my touch. I want to soar with you to the heavens. I want to take you to the heights again and again." It was obvious their bodies agreed; in the tension of the moment, they could both feel his firmness between them. "When you forget everything else, remember this: You are loved. When your mind refuses to remember, your body will. Remember what this feels like, being held close. Remember the feel of my kisses. Remember… you are loved." He had his face buried in her hair.

He could tell the dragons were getting close. Just another moment or two. He slid his right hand down just into her kimono, over her heart, while holding her tight with the other arm. Just another moment… and… When Hyourinmaru and Oshidamaru reached the height of release, he _pulled_ her power down and whispered "Sennen genkai." Strict Guard of a Thousand Years. An emblem blossomed on Sharon's chest – a daffodil, just like the one Hitsugaya himself wore when his reiatsu limit was in effect in the living world. It pulsed with her heartbeat as Oshidamaru was sealed within. When she was gone and all was still, Hyourinmaru keening his loss high above, Hitsugaya rocked Sharon back and forth, holding her tight. By the time it was over, she was already unconscious. He knew once he let her go, he wouldn't be able to hold her in his arms again.

Long after, when all was silent and the four captains disbanded the kekkai, they found him there, stroking her hair, eyes closed, trying hard to gather all the memories his senses could hold.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

Chapter 10

* * *

_He ran his fingers through her hair, sweeping it out of her face. Slowly he kissed her, face, lips, neck… while one hand began pushing a blue kimono off her shoulder…_

Hitsugaya sat up abruptly, tears coursing down his cheeks. Damn. Daydreaming again.

He was regaining his composure when Matsumoto breezed in with yet another stack of reports for him to read and sign.

"Matsumoto?"

"Hmm, taichou?"

"You have been a shinigami far longer than I have… Do you remember anything about Kuchiki-taichou's wife?"

This was the last question she expected. She knew he had been moody lately… but why ask about this?

"I would say ask Renji, except that was before his time. He's the closest to Kuchiki-taichou now." She really didn't want to field his question. It was far easier to think of more recent times… say, when Renji, Rukia, Izuru, and Momo had all been in the Academy together, and Kuchiki had Rukia adopted into the family. She looked like the pictures… almost as if she were Kuchiki Hisana's sister or something. Further back… was troublesome. Like when Kuchiki-san's wife died. Or when Uruhara-taichou was condemned, and a number of captains and lieutenants had simply… disappeared. Of course Uruhara-san had escaped to the living world. But those were surely troubled times. She shook her head to herself. She almost had wished not to remember because it made her think of Gin, and his betrayal. Those days when he was still a lieutenant, when he was still… a friend. She shook her head to clear the train of thought.

"He must have loved her a lot."

Matsumoto had been lost in her musing and came back to the present with a start. "Yes, he did. He adored her. She was graceful, and beautiful, and everyone who met her ended up admiring her. When she died… he was crushed… Somewhere along the line, he went from fierce, commanding, _leading, _to cold and aloof. As if… he didn't want to let anyone in anymore. As if he were afraid to let himself care about anyone that much, ever again. I remember there was some uproar when he married her – it was definitely a love match, but for a commoner to marry into one of the Four Noble Houses was simply scandalous." She really didn't see what Hitsugaya was getting at with his line of questioning, though. Why did it matter about Kuchiki-taichou or Hisana-san?

"I know he was there that night. _That_ night. And since you must have smuggled… her… in through a private senkai, it is logical to assume that he must have offered the Kuchiki private entrance, or else you wouldn't have even gotten her into Soul Society much less… sequestered like that." It was still difficult to talk about. That night, that is. It felt as if his heart had been torn out and the jagged edges grated on his spirit every waking moment. "I was just wondering if maybe his rather uncharacteristic conspiratorial attitude had anything to do with his own grief, that's all." He pushed back his chair and stood up. "I'm going for a walk. Yes paperwork, no sake."

"Awwwww, taichou….." A hit of sake would have _really_ gone down well, too, after that conversation. Matsumoto suppressed a shiver. She really hadn't wanted to remember any of that.

* * *

Hitsugaya went to his favorite thinking place. There was a hidden spot near where he had grown up, during the good days with Granny and Momo. It wasn't far from _that_ place, either. That magical night when he discovered… he almost…

He shook his head. No use thinking about that now.

His favorite tree was still there. Nestled in its branches, he could almost forget everything that troubled him. Whether it was Momo's old friends – certainly hers but not his – and the way they avoided him, or the pressures of life as a captain, he could put it all aside when he was up here. And he certainly wanted to put life out of his mind right now. He was too heart-sore to want to feel much of anything, and here, he could just… let it go for a while.

Or so he thought.

* * *

"Uh oh."

Rin was looking at a monitor in the 12th Division. His supervisor looked over his shoulder.

"You do realize that 'uh oh' in the 12th can be a very dangerous thing to say," he mused. "Is this an internal 'uh oh', an external 'uh oh', or…" – he shivered involuntarily – "a Kurotsuchi-taichou 'uh oh'?"

"Um, external, or should be. Remember that incident a few months ago with Hitsugaya-taichou and the woman Yamamoto-taicho-dono asked us to tag?"

"Exactly what do you mean by 'uh oh' and 'should be'?" This really didn't sound good.

Rin gulped. "We lost her."

"What do you mean, 'lost her'?" This was bad. Very bad. Yamamoto-dono was going to have somebody's head…

"I mean her tag isn't transmitting anymore. I'm tracing the log now. It was set to autocheck weekly, and her tag stopped transmitting… three days ago now. You know when he told us to tag her and put her back, Hitsugaya-taichou was restrained to the Eastern Hemisphere? Well, shinigami coverage for the Americas has never been that great to begin with – they can't really communicate very well with the living people because of that language barrier unless somebody has some enormous spirit power, or has already become a soul separate from the body. So they've been pretty slack. Even after the audit after the incident with that woman. And… well…"

"Well what?"

"From what I can figure, she must have died… because the signal changed. Here, see – it was transmitting normally until _here_, about five days ago. Then the signal acted like it normally would for a soul… and then _here_, it looks almost as if…"

"Just spit it out already."

"Almost as if she turned Hollow. And then was… taken care of… by a shinigami somewhere. But even with that, we should have traced the tag when she arrived on this end in Soul Society. But there's no trace anywhere. None in the living world, none in Soul Society. It's as if her soul wasn't just purged, but…"

"Don't go there. We are in enough trouble. Just find her. If she really has died, Yamamoto-dono needs to take control of the situation _before_ she gets here and – inevitably – makes contact with Hitsugaya-taichou. Unless, of course, you want a repeat of the first time she was brought here."

No, he didn't. Especially with Kurotsuchi-taichou angry over losing a potential research subject. He didn't even want to _remember_ it much less repeat it.

* * *

_Damn. I'm so screwed up, I'm seeing things._ Hitsugaya _had_ been comfortable in his thinking spot… until he started awake from another one of those daydreams and saw a flash of red half hidden by the leaves below him. It almost looked like… her. That auburn kind of red, and that blue dress she always wore while she was working.

Except until a moment ago, he had been quite alone. And she was alive and well and untouchable and uncontactable in the living world, right? He couldn't even check in on her since his activities had been summarily restricted by Yamamoto-dono. He rubbed his eyes and looked down again.

It _was_ her – or someone who looked exactly like her. His heart started racing. She hadn't seen him yet, he was certain.

He woke up Hyourinmaru. Well, maybe "poked at" would be a better term. They hadn't at all been on good terms since… that night. Not that he blamed him. Hitsugaya had, after all, interrupted his friend and partner during rather – intimate – business and not only stopped the proceedings but sealed his mate away. He didn't expect a lot of affection after that. But Hyourinmaru had acted sleepy ever since. Or half dead. Not much different from the way Hitsugaya himself had felt for several weeks. It was impossible to get coherent thought from him, and release was out of the question. It was just as well he had been more or less confined – they were no use in battle right now.

Hyourinmaru was awake now – and so was Hitsugaya. They were keenly aware of the woman below. It looked like her – walked like her – but something wasn't right. He needed to see if it were there, to be sure.

The seal.

If it were really Sharon, there would be a seal right over her heart, in the symbol of the 10th's daffodil. The seal holding Oshidamaru in check, suspending her power. The seal he had placed on her himself.

Except it was going to take some maneuvering to find out if it were there. And if it really were there, if this really were Sharon – he would have to find out what was wrong with her and how to get her back to herself again.

* * *

gomen, minna... life has rather gotten in the way of updating lately. And the more I tried to plot out what happened next, the more twisted it got, and now it's going somewhere I hadn't anticipated. But stories that grow are like that, ne? I had fully intended to wrap this up in another chapter or maybe two and now it looks like maybe two more from here. /sighs/ Thank you for your patience and reviews are always welcome. Even critiques. I could use the feedback.


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

Chapter 11

* * *

Hitsugaya dropped down from his leafy seat. The woman stopped, turned. Tilted her head as she looked Hitsugaya over quizzically. He noticed the difference in their heights wasn't as great as it had been. Was she shorter, or he taller? She had been over a foot taller than he was – her 5'5" dwarfed his 4'4" – but now, he could almost look her in the eye when she was standing. Six inches difference, at most.

"Annwyl?"

Hitsugaya blinked. "On… wheel?" He had never had trouble understanding Sharon before. Even when she used her lingo, it somehow crossed over, the sense of it, most of the time. She had said "the language barriers were irrelevant when one was talking spirit to spirit", or at least that was how she justified understanding him when he was obviously speaking Japanese and she… wasn't. And it made sense given the troubles the shinigami on America duty invariably reported in understanding anyone who didn't have tremendous spiritual energy. But this word, she hadn't used much before, and the sense of it just didn't cross. He noticed her reiatsu was weak as well. If this _was_ Sharon, she was certainly… different.

"Sharon, is that you?" His eyes were almost pleading.

"Sharon?" She looked down at her hands, then reached up and pushed on her glasses in that way she had, without thinking. "That sounds… familiar…" Her eyes were unglazing as she spoke. After blinking a few times, she continued. "You look familiar, but I can't place you. All I can remember is, well, liking you. Are we friends?"

Hitsugaya was thinking fast. If this was Sharon, she had been wiped a bit too thoroughly, in his not too humble opinion – he would have to have words with the memory modification people later. First order of business, however, was to get her somewhere safe – hidden – before Yamamoto-taichou found out she was in Soul Society. _Then_ he could worry about the condition of the seal, and piecing together what had happened to her.

That, and he really didn't want Matsumoto interfering, just yet.

He didn't get the chance, though. A few yards from where they stood, a horizontal crack opened, and Ichimaru Gin stepped out. "My, but ya've led us a merry chase, little one! Now, come back and…"

"YOU!" She growled at him and assumed a posture like an angry mama bear. "Filthy sneaking bastard…" That "glaive" non-zanpakuto weapon had appeared in her hands and was aimed straight at Ichimaru. "I told you if you ever graced my sight again, I would spit you clean through, and I wasn't kidding!" She charged on him, but his flash steps kept him just out of her reach.

"My, my, and ain'tcha overreactin' just a little? I didn' hurt yer precious one, didn' even touch 'im, I swear it. Now put that thing down and…"

"In your dreams!" She swung the glaive down in a giant chop. "Silent Strike!" A blast of energy shot out from the glaive, spitting the ground in front of her and singeing Ichimaru's pristine white outfit.

Hitsugaya jumped back several feet. What in hell had happened to her? Why was Ichimaru, of all people, after her?

"Just a misundersta—"

"Silent Slice!" She swung the glaive, blasting a horizontal arc of energy at Ichimaru.

"—ndin'," as he flash stepped out of her way. "If ya would just listen – "

"Why should she?" Hitsugaya shouted. "What have you done to her?"

Ichimaru finally noticed Hitsugaya. "Well, if it ain't the little Captain of the Tenth! Or maybe not so little anymore, ain'tcha?" He flash stepped to Hitsugaya's side. "Keep shootin' that thing, and ya'll hit yer friend, little one." He smiled his plastic smile.

She faced them both, glaive tip aimed square at Ichimaru's heart. "Give me one _good_ reason why I shouldn't spit you like a rotisserie chicken, bastard." Her reiatsu had jumped up. Way up. Hitsugaya was scrambling to think. If this lasted much longer, there would be no way to hide her.

"I told ya, I didn' touch a hair on 'is precious little head," Ichimaru wheedled. "I don' care what Ulquiorra told ya, yer son is perfectly safe."

"That green-eyed shellhead had the nerve to suggest that I would be wise to buy Andrew's safety with my life. _You _merely suggested that since I was already dearly departed, that there was no good reason to keep from taking him. Just because my body gave out doesn't give any being – living, dead, or otherwise – the right to touch Andrew. Ever." The tip of the glaive arched up under Ichimaru's chin as he leaned back. "And I never gave leave for those… _beasts… _to slaver over him either. I remember freaking out, and the next thing I know, Shellhead was saying I turned into a dragon and fried his pets. Good riddance. Nobody but _nobody_ lays a finger on Andrew."

She was a _what?_ Hitsugaya pieced together what must have happened. Sharon had died – how didn't matter just now – and Hueco Mundo had certainly been watching, even if Soul Society hadn't. They tried to get her cooperation by threatening her son. Very bad move. Even he knew better than to say anything about her son. Just because he had inherited her red hair and high intelligence didn't mean he had inherited what _they_ were interested in. The dragon. Which had obviously manifested when they made their threats. In spite of the seal – it seems she hadn't been conscious of it happening. She would have probably come across like a Hollow at that point. And then they simply swept her into Hueco Mundo. From there, she had evidently found a way out, or from the looks of things, fought her way out. But her memory obviously wasn't fully intact. It didn't surprise him that the part they couldn't alter was her son. That was a heart memory, not a head one.

Of greater import at the moment was that Sharon had obviously worked around the seal – or Oshidamaru had – and she was using the equivalent of a shikai. That by itself made her dangerous. Not that he minded her pointing it at Ichimaru. She wasn't the first who wanted him eliminated, very very painfully, and she wouldn't be the last.

The fake smile never left Ichimaru's face even for a second. He simply said "Shoot, Shinsou."

In a split second, Hitsugaya had forced his blade in Shinsou's path. "If you even _think_ about harming her, then I will be your opponent!" His reiatsu began to climb. "And don't think you'll get away this time, either!"

Sharon's eyes hadn't left Ichimaru's smirk. "I have anger but you have training. Want dibs on slicing him?"

Hitsugaya, still straining under Shinsou's power, said "Oh, you were doing pretty well just then yourself." He was shoved back another few feet, which pushed Sharon back as well. She reached around in front of him with her glaive and said "Then let's see if I can be of any use here. Silent Shield!"

A dome of glowing indigo pushed back Shinsou and cracked its tip.

Ichimaru withdrew Shinsou and let one corner of his mouth curl upward just a bit more. "My, and ain'tcha just lookin' like lovebirds! Ya almost actin' like a pair or somethin'."

Of course, that was the moment Hitsugaya noticed his back was pressed against Sharon's chest. His _back_, not his head. Their heights _had_ gotten closer somehow. And being this close felt really, _really_ good. His face was getting hot while his eyes got colder than ice. Her arms were still holding the glaive, encircling him. He turned and faced her. "I have an idea. Will you trust me?"

Her eyes never left Ichimaru's face. "Do it."

Hitsugaya cupped her cheek in his hand. The motion startled Sharon enough that she looked at him with a wondering expression. As if this were familiar but she couldn't see why. Then Hitsugaya did what he had been longing to do for weeks. He kissed her.

All hell broke loose. Any remains of the seal he had placed were now gone. Hyourinmaru and Oshidamaru both manifested wrapped around them, but instead of launching to the skies, they both aimed at Ichimaru. While their humans were distracted with rediscovering one another, they combined their energy in one burst that Shinsou was powerless to knock aside. Ichimaru, wordlessly conceding the fight, twisted into a horizontal crack that had opened to the side to admit him.

Hyourinmaru and Oshidamaru rejoined Hitsugaya and Sharon, who were staring into each other's eyes hungrily.

"When… How… What happened, anyway?" Sharon sputtered.

"So you know me now?" Hitsugaya smiled.

"How could I forget? How could I have forgotten?"

"Indeed. The question is, how could you remember what should have been forgotten?"

_Uh-oh,_ Hitsugaya thought, as they turned to face Kuchiki Byakuya.

"Kuchiki-taichou," Hitsugaya said. "How much did you see?"

"Enough. Ichimaru is gone, is he not?" A smile was playing around the corner of Kuchiki's mouth.

"For now. Apparently he chased her here." Hitsugaya's arm was firmly around Sharon's waist. "And she's not going anywhere this time. She is dead to the living world now and legitimately belongs in Soul Society."

"So it would seem."

"Yamamoto-dono!" Hitsugaya started. He was ready to fight the entire Gotei 13 if that's what it took.

"Calm down, Hitsugaya-taichou," Yamamoto replied. "I will expect a full briefing, of course. Later. _After_ you two do what I asked in the first place and set some boundaries on that errant dragon before she upsets all of Soul Society. Again."

Hitsugaya's face went red. If Plan A hadn't worked… what exactly were they going to do now?

"Begging your pardon, sir," Sharon said. "I take it you are in charge here?"

"You could say that," Hitsugaya muttered. The other corner of Kuchiki's mouth curled up.

"I think I know why we couldn't control her last time. It had mainly to do with the fact that at the time we were trying to be… honorable." She looked down at her feet for a minute. "You see, I was married. Emphasis on _was_ married. As in had wedding vows to keep. Even if the one I had vowed to wasn't exactly working with me to make it a decent marriage. And my interpretation of those vows didn't include sleeping with another man. No matter how much my heart might have wanted to do otherwise." She smiled softly at Hitsugaya. "If I understand the current situation properly, 'till death do us part' has now officially occurred, and those vows are fulfilled. Which means that's not a barrier anymore. I think… I think they wanted their humans to share what they did, and neither one was happy because we didn't. Wouldn't." She stopped, too embarrassed to continue.

Yamamoto looked thoughtful. "I am aware of what happened the night of your last visit to Soul Society, including the rather extensive efforts put forth to keep your presence a secret. Four of my captains went to great length on your behalf, and there were some parties who were rather… disappointed in the outcome." He allowed a brief smile. "I am not so old that I do not remember. I think you two should try again. In theory, that _should_ keep your respective dragons… satisfied."

Kuchiki allowed the smile to fade from his lips but not from his eyes. "I will bespeak Unohana-taichou regards the healer's retreat, if you wish."

Yamamoto readily agreed. "The sooner this is settled, the better for all of us. You have caused quite enough unrest, young lady."

Yamamoto had turned to go when he stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "Oh. Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"H-h-hai," Hitsugaya answered. He was still in shock over the last few minutes.

"Keep up that growth and you'll match her soon. I don't think anyone will be able to call you 'little' much longer." Yamamoto turned back and left. Sharon looked over at Hitsugaya and grinned.

"I think we just got set up for a date."

* * *

Getting close now. I finally got this sorta the way I wanted it (still not quite satisfied, but when are we ever?) and should be able to wrap it up soon. Thanks all for your patience.


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

Chapter 12

* * *

Hitsugaya stretched out, gazing up at the ceiling.

_That was… incredible._

He looked over at Sharon, sleeping next to him. He had heard about "the experience", though he had never had it himself. But this – interconnection – had been beyond his imagination. Who would have thought that four beings could share so much?

_I doubt this is typical. Who ever heard of sharing something like this with their zanpakuto?_

A warm chuckle filtered through his heart.

_It took you two long enough._

He let a slow smile drift across his face. Hyourinmaru was right.

Sharon rolled on her side, snuggling up against him. This felt so… _right. She_ felt so right.

Then he noticed her hair…

"Oi, Sharon." He nudged her gently.

"Hmmm?" Her eyes were languid and dreamy as she looked up at him.

"Does your hair always stick out like that when you lie down?"

She blinked a few times. "Depends on how I tie it up. And how much comes loose. What, I look like Renji again?"

"It _is_ a rather disturbing image."

She flashed him a grin. "I could cut it off, you know. No more Renji hair."

He looked back in mock horror. "But then I couldn't do this." He pulled out the hair elastic. "And this." He started finger-combing her hair out in a fan on the pillow. "And _this_." He buried his face in her hair and started nuzzling her cheek, her neck…

Sharon laughed. Ah, what a sound – just happiness, no more pain and torment. "We wouldn't want to lose that, now would we?" She kissed him gently, then more fervently as her arm wrapped around his neck.

Another warm chuckle, this time in tandem.

"Do you ever get used to having a dragon in your head?" Sharon asked.

"Usually he's just _there_, and I don't think much about it. It's like thinking about another part of yourself being attached. But he sure is a good one to have around. It's good knowing I'll never be alone again." Hitsugaya trailed his fingertips down her arm, then took her hand in his.

"I am so bloody ignorant. I don't want to fight, but I know I have to learn how. And I really want to learn how to talk with Oshidamaru." She let out a sigh. "I guess that means shinigami training, right?"

"It's not as bad as you think. And I have the feeling you would probably be good at kidou. Maybe with your medical training, you could work with Unohana-taichou." _Only if she loans Sharon back to the 10__th__ once in a while, that is._ Sharon just settled her head down in the crook of his arm.

A pause, stillness, warmth.

"Sharon?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why did you call me 'annwyl'?"

Another pause, another warm stillness.

"I got that word years ago. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people I have used it for. Simply put, you are very dear to me. 'Dear one' seemed appropriate."

"Even when you didn't remember who I was?"

"My heart remembered. That's all I needed."

He held her close. Yes. That's all they needed.

* * *

fin

* * *

with special thanks to:

- Kubo Tite-sensei, without whom Hitsugaya wouldn't even exist

- Anne McCaffrey, whose Pern dragons inspired the "what if the dragons picked his mate?" idea

- and all the wonderful readers who put me on their "favorite" and "story alert" lists - arigato gozaimasu!


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